RED-FACED Grand National bosses have been forced to apologise – after an abattoir was found underneath the Aintree circuit's most notorious fence, Becher's Brook.
A whistleblower told the Ugly Truth that for the last three years, any horse failing to safely clear the hurdle by more than a metre has been sucked into the subterranean slaughterhouse and converted into Morrisons own brand mince.
Horses known to have perished include: Aladdin's Kebab, Samba Ears, Ditzy Cow and Grubby Hutch. Jockeys Willie Carson and Lester Piggott also died.
An Aintree spokesman said their families would probably be offered some sort of voucher.
It is not clear who is behind the abattoir, but for the sake of getting this copy filed on time, filthy foreigners are being blamed.
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