'What if my Polly's a horse?'

PAULINE Hartley was checking through her freezer drawers, struggling in vain to find a quick meal for her ravenous eight-year-old twins, Polly and Lox.

As she reached for a packet of Sainsbury's basics Mystery Meat Cylinders, a chilling thought ran through her: “What if my kids are horses?”

The 48-year-old scratch-card addict told the Ugly Truth: “All these years I've been looking at my kids, and I've never stopped to think what's in em.

“I mean, they could be donkeys, cows, laptops, staplers, anything.

“You just don't know what anything's made of these days, do you?”

Luckily, a quick check on Wikipedia revealed Polly and Lox probably weren't horses.

But Pauline is encouraging other parents to be vigilant. “Get em checked out soon as their born,” she said.

“Me personally, I've bought a paddock out the back of our house. If either of my ones start using it, I'll know they're horses.”