Google's billion dollar tax burden hidden in your guts

GOOGLE is avoiding paying billions of dollars in tax by filing its accounts inside people's stomachs.

The complicated procedure, which is entirely legal and utterly gross, was exposed by a whistleblower, who told The Ugly Truth: “It began about four years ago, with the I'm Feeling Lucky feature.

“Any time somebody clicked on that button, they were unwittingly signing themselves up to be a host body for Google's tax purposes.

“As one of Google's Senior Physical Account Filers, my job was to open people's mouths while they were sleeping and ram in as much paperwork as I could.

“If Google filed all its papers in the ordinary way, it would end up paying hundreds of millions of pounds in tax in the UK alone.

“But the rate of Corporation Tax in somebody's lower intestines is only around 0.02%.”

The whistleblower, who has now gone into hiding inside the Lycos search engine, which nobody has used since 1998, added: “It's all legal and there is a disclaimer at the bottom of the Google search page giving all the details.

“However, I should warn you that if you click on that, you'll be giving Google the legal right to your first born child.”