All social media has been suspended for the day because animals aren't being funny.
Dogs are efficiently getting from A to B without stopping to chase their tails, cats are refraining from fighting their reflections and rabbits are staying in their hutches, being generally dull as fuck.
Today is believed to be the first day since May 13, 2007, that not a single animal has done anything worthy of going viral. On that occasion, the whole of the internet was shut down for nearly 24 hours, until a 13-second clip finally emerged of a gibbon attacking Noel Edmonds with a sword.
People whose lives revolve around this kind of thing have spoken of their frustration.
Ricky Gomez, a 23-year-old trainee barista who typically shares a dozen videos a day of animals being ‘wacky’, said: "I've been sat in a field filming a horse for the last seven hours. It's neighed a few times and scratched its mane against a fence post, but that is literally it.
“The battery on my phone’s about to die so if it doesn’t pull a face that looks a bit like Donald Trump in the next few minutes, I’ve basically wasted my day.”
Earlier this afternoon, rumours emerged of a video of a kitten playing with a yoyo. However, relief turned to despair when it was discovered the footage actually showed a kitten being hit by a train.
Today’s social media crisis has been exacerbated by the failure of any celebrities to make easily meme-able gaffes.
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