The Duke of Edinburgh has spent the past two nights in hospital and missed the end of his wife's Diamond Jubilee.
Buckingham Palace has been releasing occasional, bland statements about the prince's health over the past 48 hours, along the lines of him still being alive and not having died yet.
But now the prince has decided to offer the public a more colourful account of his condition, via his @dukey21 Twitter account.
This morning he wrote: “Feelin much better 2day. Bad nites sleep tho. Was rofa (rolling on the floor in agony) for most of it.
“Told the Asian doctor who asked for a pee sample this morning that he could pee off back to bongobongoland. Quite proud of that! Really missin @queenie26 tho #casualracism #pissingblood”
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