Wednesday 30 May 2012

2.3grams between obese and skinny

A PANEL of tabloid journalists has determined a 'Safe Weight Zone' for female celebrities of 2.3grams – either side of which they are either morbidly obese or alarmingly skinny.

Writers from 25 newspapers and magazines have spent the last fortnight holed up in a boardroom at the Daily Mail's offices in London to agree on the SWZ.

They have been scrutinising over 3,000 photos of famous women printed in their own publications over the past three years.

The panel's chair, Lydia de Rossi, who edits Fluff! magazine, said: “It has been an exhausting process, with much debate and disagreement, but we are happy with the result. The breakthrough came when we examined a sequence of photographs printed in the Daily Express in 2010, showing Kate Moss eating an egg and cress sandwich.

“We were all agreed that by the time she had digested the last bite, Kate had gone from being grotesquely skeletal to a beached whale.

“We then went to Waitrose and bought an ordinary egg and cress sandwich, and weighed a small corner of it, similar to the last bite taken by Kate.

“That's where we got the magic figure of 2.3grams from.”

Ms de Rossi added: “We are not out to demonise celebrities in any way.

“On the contrary, the SWZ will soon become a vital tool for them in preventing them from looking revolting in public.

“In order to stay safely in the SWZ, all they will need to do is drink calorie-neutral meals through a straw and carry a portable treadmill with them at all times.”

Our photos show skin-and-bones Kate (right) and chubby chubster Kate (left).

No comments:

Post a Comment