Sunday 20 May 2012

Baron Cohen reveals: "I'm Joey Barton"

PREMIER League thug Joey Barton has today been sensationally unmasked as a Sacha Baron Cohen parody of a scumbag modern footballer.

Mr Baron Cohen told Empire magazine that he dreamt up the idea of a foul-mouthed, psychotic and mediocre soccer ace more than ten years ago.

He said: “I'd always thought that a Premier League footballer would be a rich source of satire, so in 2001 I took up football and started playing twice a week down at my local park.

“It wasn't long before I was good enough to earn a contract with Manchester City, who back then were shite.

“I was always careful not to train too hard, because it was important that I remained absolutely mediocre to protect the essence of the satire – that a person with such limited talent but such a high opinion of himself can earn a vast and entirely undeserved fortune, while behaving like a wild hyena with a Twitter account.”

The result of ten years work is Joey: A Footballer, a feature-length film which Baron Cohen will begin shooting early next year.

People who are easily shocked have been shocked by the revelation.

Alex Borthwick, a spokesman for surprises, said: “This is very surprising.

“It's going to become one of those 'where were you when you heard the news?' moments, like when The Stig from Top Gear was revealed to be Maureen Rees from Driving School back in the 90s.”

No comments:

Post a Comment