UK prison budget blown on celebrity olive survey

HOME Secretary Theresa May has defended her decision to spend the entire UK prisons budget on a survey to find out which celebrities like olives.

The £2.5billion study was launched last year, and the results, together with the entire UK prison population, will be released early next week.

Mrs May said it had been "an extremely interesting survey with some fascinating results."

She added: “We accept that some very dangerous individuals will soon be at large across the UK.

“But the flipside is that we now know that Lady Gaga, Charles Spencer, John Sergeant, Miss Dynamite and Colin Firth all love olives.

“We also know that Rob Brydon only likes black olives, while Colin Montgomerie, Mika and Jessica Alba can't stand either kind.

“Plus, we had some spare forms which means we know now how the bulk of the prison population feels about olives.

“We couldn't be happier.”