THE Coalition Government is taking pre-emptive action to prevent a repeat of the Jeremy Hunt fiasco - by publishing a list of all the important things it doesn't know are happening under its nose.
The move follows the public outcry over revelations that Mr Hunt was unaware his Department of Culture, Media and Sport had ordered a £12billion gold Sky dish direct from Rupert Murdoch.
The list includes admissions designed to head off the following scandals:
The cancellation of the Olympics because nobody remembered to buy any hurdles - Hugh Robertson, Olympics Minister, will reveal that his mobile phone was broken, meaning he could not ask Lord Coe how preparations for the Games were going.
The spectacular undermining of the hosepipe ban by civil servants at Defra, who spent three months throwing more than 18,000 water bombs at each other - Environment Minister Richard Benyon will reveal he was working at home the whole time because he had a sore back.
The collapse of Britain's trade relations with China and India after Jeremy Clarkson managed to clone himself – Science Minister David Willets will release e-mails showing that Clarkson was only allowed access to a top secret Government laboratory after providing written assurances that he only wanted to film some test tubes for a Top Gear special.
In an interview today with CBeebies, Prime Minister David Cameron said: “The public have the right to expect the highest standards from their elected officials.
“And when we consistently fail to meet those standards, it is only right that we have the proper excuses mechanism in place to deal with the fall-out.”
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